“Suicide’s Note”

The calm,
Cool face of the river
Asked me for a kiss.

[Langston Hughes]

This beautiful, tragic poem by Langston Hughes conjures up images of sadness and death and has a haunting feeling of calm that struck and moved me. The title of the poem, “Suicide’s Note,” seems to have a dual meaning. It can mean the actual note written before taking one’s own life, but it can also refer to a music note. I think the poet was talking about the “song” death sings to us at dark times. The person considering suicide seems captivated and seduced by the beautiful yet dangerous river of water (death) much like victims of a Siren’s song have been lured to their watery demise in tales of old. To the person in the poem, the water promises peace and tranquility, an end to pain and heartache, and an escape from all of life’s troubles. (“Suicide’s Note” also reminded me of death poems traditionally written near the time of one’s own death.)

This poem along with the frequent presence of death in my life as of late (I’ve been to four funerals this year, one just last week after finding the kind and gentle elderly man who lived upstairs from us dead in his kitchen) not to mention personal feelings of stress, sadness, and loss have led me to create the following painting entitled “Lola’s Note” (a deliberate play on the title of the poem).

(click to enlarge)

Lola’s Note
24″x30″
Graphite, Acrylic, and Oil on Canvas

Lola is a character much like the one in the Langston Hughes poem. She is caught in a moment of trance with the river, walking deeper and deeper into the water that will take her life. Her hopelessness and pain allow her to turn to the great peace and resolve the river offers her. A snake hugs her neck, representing her focus and the dark temptation or “song” she is surrendering to.

My photo reference for “Lola” came about by fortunate accident while stumbling upon the beautiful photography of Zhang Jingna. I hesitated a bit before referencing a photo of such original vision – Jingna’s photos are perfect artistic portraits – but like the dangerously seductive water in the poem, her emotionally captivating photograph entitled “The Coldest Day” called out to me as the perfect inspiration for my forlorn character and I surrendered. I’d like to thank Jingna for her breathtaking photography and for permission to use “The Coldest Day” in bringing my painting story to life.

**A note to readers and interpreters of this blog/painting: My objective with this
painting was to express feelings and thoughts through imagery. I do not promote/condone
suicide. My experiences with death, most prominently my baby sister's death when I was
nine, have taught me that life is truly a gift.